sniper troopers

hey blog!

yesterday was a long day - we were to look at two trucks (new to me). for some silly reason no one in our area was selling a truck under $2,000 (one that will seat all 6 of us) so we had to go out of our state...all the way to MA (that's funny cuz MA is just right over there..lol) but anyway, we're on our way to springfield MA to check out this truck. we stop at the toll booth to get our ticket and this sniper cop comes around the booth building and says, in a really dicky authoritative voice that really doesn't work on me and always ends up with me sassing off, PULL OVER NOW PLEASE!! what the f....

it's friggin' hotter than a $2 whore, no a/c in the truck and i've got 3 kids sweaty and hot kids and cranky hubby and i'm not fun when i'm hot and mr trooper guy demands my license and registration. it was kinda funny because it was so hot that the registration card was stuck to pleather binder in the glove box...but not funny at all cuz i'm like "dude...what the frick?" my truck is legal, i wasn't speeding, we're all wearing our seatbelts...what. the.

you know what he had me pull over for? my shoulder strap was not over my shoulder. i was buckled in...i always buckle but i never if ever put the strap over my shoulder. it's not the first ticket i've gotten for the "offense" and it won't be my last. but to be sniper-copped at a toll booth on a really hot and humid day of driving all over East Bumshit looking for a truck...that's just messed up.

i wasn't disrespectful to the cop but i did do the eye roll thing and ask "for real?" he takes my info and comes back 10 minutes later (does it really take THAT long to print out a ticket?) and apologizes to me for giving me a ticket and that it's "clickit or ticket" week and blah blah. listen dude cop guy - i've been pulled over before because a cop didn't see my shoulder belt and they left the side of my car WITHOUT giving me a ticket. i've passed cops going 45mph in a 30mph zone and they never even looked at me (and it's not like you could miss me in my tank). i've been pulled over because my truck is loud and they liked my "i'm only speeding because i have to poop" bumper sticker (for real..ask hubby) and i never got a ticket. so for him to apologize for giving me a ticket when i KNOW it's at his discretion to do so is like putting a gun to my head and telling me "you have mosquito in your hair". (ok, that was a messed up analogy). but you know what i mean?

and....giving me a ticket doesn't make me run home with my tail between my legs. when i go to school tomorrow, i will be buckled but with no shoulder strap. when i drop the kids off at work, i will be buckled but with no shoulder strap. the shoulder strap annoys my boobs...really bad. the strap either rides up and chokes the living shit out of me or it gets stuck under my boob and just looks really ridiculous. so i won't do it.

and exactly what is a "living shit"? that's a funny term, right there.

so thanks mr sniper trooper man - thanks for the ticket. no really, i understand that the 18 yr old shoulder strap in my truck that doesn't catch when i stop fast can't save my life if i don't wear it but ...umm...other than the belt portion latching, the shoulder belt (in my truck) is just something pretty look at...and to annoy my boobs. it wouldn't save my big block head from hitting the windshield anyway. you'll get my check in mail.